wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
