i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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