my phone needs a breathalizer
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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