You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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