Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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