you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
