hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
