are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
