Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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