She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Two words: nipple clamps
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