Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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