i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
