yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
