dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
