it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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