Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
