There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
