I think I am morally bankrupt
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
