The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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