I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
