what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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