I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
