Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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