just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
