I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
