I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have demons in me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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