yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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