What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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