can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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