omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Swine flu is the new snow day.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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