so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
