I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
