I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
