he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
