Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
