what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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