i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
