Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
