so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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