Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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