you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
