Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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