He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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