don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
