I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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