youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
