I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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