i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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