All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
