So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
