Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
