You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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