Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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