he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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