I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
