Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
