Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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