I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When are your genitals available?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
