i can't believe i had my finger in that
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
